


Delores in the Mix

by SRassier



Category: The Umbrella Academy (Comics), The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Action, Delores is one of the 43, Humor, Rewrite, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:41:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27112082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SRassier/pseuds/SRassier
Summary: Re-write of season one with an added character. This time, I made Delores a fierce black woman who is the Yin to Five's Yang. She spent the apocalypse with him and is now trying to help stop it from happening.
Relationships: Dolores/Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 27





	1. Five Meets Delores

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, another season one re-write...I think I made enough tweaks to differentiate it from all the others.

Number Five could hear his father’s protests fade as he exited the front door of the mansion and stepped out onto the sidewalk. He confidently strolled a few steps before concentrating on his latest equation for time travel (a few months should do the trick), mustering the required amount of energy, and pushing through space. 

The next moment, he looked around and found himself in what looked to be springtime. He did it. By all estimates, he had jumped at least 4 months into the future. Take that Dad. “Not ready my ass.” Something in him said to stop. Take a breath. Go to the mansion, show Dad what you accomplished. This voice was silenced by another that said, ‘keep going.’

He felt something collide with his back as the energy surged from within him again. One more month, he thought. Show up on Dad’s birthday, that would teach the old bastard. He stepped out from the next portal and swiveled his head around to look. Winter. Shit…too far. Ok Five, he told himself. Don’t panic. Just use the equation to go back and undo the last jump. Simple. 

As he balled up his fists, he could swear he felt something grab a hold of his jacket but paid it no mind as he stepped into the abyss once again and out the other side. The first thing that hit him was the smell. It smelled like death. There was ash everywhere and the world seemed to be on fire. He looked around again and finally his mind started to allow the panic to set in. Five turned on his heels and began to run in the direction of home.

When he reached what was left of the academy, he called out for Vanya, Ben, Dad, anyone. He knew he would get no answer but calling for them still felt appropriate. When he realized what he had done, he hit his knees and was about to let the tears fall when he heard something disturb the rubble behind him. He stood quickly and swirled around, taking a fighting stance, and found himself face to face with a young girl, just about his age. 

She was a few inches shorter than him. She had a dark brown complexion, and her jet-black hair was pulled into two buns on the top of her head, looking much like pom poms they used to use in arts and crafts when they were little. She wore a tee shirt with some woman on it called Mary J Blige, jeans, and red converse shoes. The first thing Five noticed was that she was just about the cutest girl he had ever seen. The second thing he noticed was that she was crying. “What the hell happened here?”  
“What?” The girl managed to eek out between sobs.  
“The fire, the destruction, the…” Five gestured to the world around them. “…everything! What the hell happened?”  
She sniffled as her crying gave way to confusion. “How should I know?”  
“You’re the only one left!”  
“You brought us here…how come you don’t know?!” 

Five stared at her. His brow wrinkled and his eyes squinted as he took her and her words in. “What do you mean, I brought you here?”  
She realized he really didn’t know. “I was walking home from school and you just sort of appeared right in front of me. I mean RIGHT in front of me. I slammed into you; I’m surprised you didn’t feel it.” Five recalled the shove right before his second jump as she continued. “The next thing I know, it’s freaking winter. You looked around and looked like you were about to run. I didn’t want to be left behind so I grabbed your jacket and well…” She gestured to their surroundings, mocking Five’s earlier movements. 

She watched as Five started pacing. He moved back and forth in front of her with a purpose, turning on his heel with precision in nearly the same spot each time. “You can get us back, right?”  
His head snapped up as if he forgot she was there. “Uh, yeah. Of course.” He saw the tears begin to well up in her eyes again at his lack of confidence. “It’s going to take a little time though. I’m tapped out. I have to rest.” He looked around, hoping that his next suggestion wasn’t in vain. “We should try to find some shelter.”

The two teens walked for a while in silence before they came to a small garage that was still ¾ of the way standing. Five took what was left of an old tarp and strung it across the top to have as much shelter from whatever the night threw at them as they could. They sat on the ground, each leaning up against a different wall and waited. 

“I’m Five by the way.” He finally broke the silence with his introduction.  
The girl sheepishly grinned, “I know who you are.”  
“Oh?” He halfheartedly smiled. “Big fan, are you?”  
The girl dipped her head and tried to hide her smile as she slowly took off her backpack and brought it around to the front, showing him the design. Five found himself staring at the cartoon renderings of him and his siblings on her Umbrella Academy school bag. 

He chuckled a bit at the site. “Maybe I can get everyone to sign it for you when we go back tomorrow.”  
“Thanks.”  
“Well, it’s the least I can do, uh…” He realized that he had been with her for nearly 2 hours and they had just gotten around to names.  
“Delores.”  
“Delores. That’s pretty.”  
“Yeah, if I was a little girl in the great depression.”  
“Well, I like it.” The two teens looked at each other and finally started to relax as much as one could in their situation.  
“Thanks again.”

Day turned into night quicker than Five had wanted and soon he found himself hugging his arms close to his chest in a fruitless attempt to stay warm. The mercury had dropped considerably compared to the sweltering heat of the day and he shivered as he glanced around, looking for something to cover the two of them with. His eyes landed on Delores and he found her reading one of the books from her bag, looking perfectly content without a hint of discomfort due to the freezing temperature.

“How are you not shivering in that tee shirt?” Delores looked up from her book. “I’m wearing a coat and I’m freezing my ass off.”  
Delores’ eyes suddenly got wide as she took in the site of him. She flung the book in her bag and scooted over to sit next to him. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry.”  
“Sorry for what?” Five barely got the question out before she reached out and took him by the hand. The touch seemed to immediately send warmth throughout his body and soon he felt like he was sitting in the sun on a warm summer’s day.

“Holy shit.” Five just stared at their entwined hands, wondering how many other super powered kids missed by Reginald Hargreeves were just living within the same city.  
“Yeah.” Delores leaned back against the wall, still holding his hand. “I can control the temperature of anything I touch. It comes in handy when I’m the last kid to get into the shower at night.”  
“How many kids in your family?”  
“I’m the third of four, but don’t get your hopes up.” Five sent her a questioning look. “The rest had normal births. I’m the only one with powers.”

Five pondered for a moment what life might have been like had his mother kept him. Would he know how to use his powers? Would he accidently teleport randomly around the city? Would he get himself stuck? The last thought threatened to bring him to tears, so he shoved it down and decided to spend the rest of the evening finding out more about his companion. “So. How long have you been able to do it?”  
“Since I was really little, maybe about four. My sister was three, and she snuck outside in the winter. She was out there for nearly an hour as everyone searched. My dad brought her into the garage and was putting her in the car to take her to the hospital when I just went up and hugged her. She warmed up immediately and my folks started having me practice…learn to control it.” She smiled at a particularly good memory, and it was infectious. “My Dad jokes that I’m the only one allowed to ever grab him a beer as he knows it will be ice cold when it gets to him.” 

The two kids sat in silence at the thought of their respective families. Delores thought about how her parents were probably worried sick, searching the city for her and calling everyone she ever had contact with to see if they had seen her. Five, on the other hand, was just wondering what kind of fresh hell his father would put him through as a punishment for screwing up time travel. They sat in silence for a bit until Delores finally asked, in nearly a whisper, “We’re going back tomorrow?”  
Five looked at her and with all the confidence he could muster answered, “tomorrow.”


	2. Meeting the Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five and Delores make it back, with a slight alteration to their bodies. She meets his family and they start out to stop the apocalypse.

Delores hit her knees hard as she heard the portal above them close. She was only vaguely aware of the group of people walking toward them before one of them spoke. “Does anyone else see little Number Five or is that just me?” She stood, and at the word ‘little’ she took stock of hers and Five’s appearance. They were teenagers. She focused a pointed look at him as he became aware of his own body, muttering a ‘shit’ before looking at her and seeing her glare, simply shook his head. “Don’t start with me.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her past the crowd and into the house.

Delores plunked herself down on a chair as Five bustled about the kitchen, preparing something for the two of them to eat. Time travel certainly took a lot out of a person and they would need their strength if they were to focus on the task at hand. Soon after them, the crowd, who Delores recognized from the first week in the apocalypse as Five’s siblings, followed them into the kitchen. As they took their places around the table, Luther addressed Five as the rest of them kept stealing confused glances at her.

After successfully annoying Luther and insulting Diego, finally the family was caught up with where Five had been and how long he was there. He picked up the sandwiches and handed one to Delores. As she took it, finally Allison asked, “Who the hell is that?”  
Five barely glanced up from his father’s obituary as he motioned to her, then to his siblings, then back to her and muttered, “Delores, everyone…everyone, Delores.”

He put the paper down and walked over to her, grabbing her hand. “We should change. I’m sure there’s something that fits you in Vanya’s old stuff.” Five looked to his sister. “Would you mind?”  
“Uh, no. Be my guest.”  
“Thanks.”  
“Wait a minute!” Diego stood up. “Who the hell is Delores?”  
“Oh.” Delores smirked. “I’m his wife.” And the couple disappeared in a flash of blue. 

The Hargreeves took turns looking at each other until Klaus finally broke the silence. “So! Five’s got jungle fever!”  
“Really Klaus?” Allison shook her head at her brother.  
“What? You’re not proud that your little uptight, Alex P. Keaton looking brother found himself a beautiful black woman to worship?”  
Allison shook her head, but Klaus saw the hint of a smile and knew that although she may never admit it, she was definitely proud. 

~~~~~~

Five was tying his shoe when Delores came into the room. “I forgot how adorable you were in your cute little uniform.”  
“Ugh.” Five finished up with the knot and looked up at her, a devilish smile sweeping across his face. “Damn.  
“I will take that as a compliment.”  
“I mean, I’m not going to lie,” Five stepped over to her and took her in his arms. He leaned close. “The schoolgirl uniform is kind of doing it for me.” He dipped his head and pressed his lips against hers. Delores brought her hands up to place them on his chest and leaned into the kiss before hearing someone clear his throat behind them.

The teens looked to find Luther taking up the whole doorway. “Uh, sorry to interrupt but…” He brought one of his massive hands up to rub the back of his neck nervously. “Did you want me to make you up a guest room?”   
He was addressing Delores but Five answered. “Luther. We’ve shared a bed for the last 40 some years. Why would we stop now?”  
“I just thought.”  
“Yeah well, that’s your first problem.”  
“Five.” Delores chastised him before turning to Luther. “It was a kind offer but no thank you. I will stay in my husband’s room if you don’t mind.”  
“Right.” Luther nodded before turning down the hall. As he left, they could hear him mumble, “because you’re married.”

“Moron.” Five released his hold on her and started down the hall, Delores following a step behind.  
“Five…”  
“Well, he is.”  
She reached out and grabbed his arm, stopping him forcing him to look at her. “We do look 15. It has to be a bit disconcerting to others.”  
Five thought about this and nodded his agreement. After a beat, he sighed. “Coffee?”  
“Coffee.”

~~~~~~

The tach team at Griddy’s never stood a chance. Between Five teleporting around the room stabbing, shooting, and neck breaking, and Delores throwing white hot silverware, instantly cauterizing as it entered her target’s body, the team was down in less than two minutes. As the dust settled, Five was unhooking his tie from one of his victims and Delores was grabbing the tracker, seeing the two blips on the screen.

Five picked up a knife and she picked up a spoon, wrapping the handle in a towel. He tied a makeshift tourniquet around her arm and cut out the tracker as she heated up the end of the spoon. Taking it from her, he pressed it against her skin, and she hissed as the wound was burned shut. After returning the favor, she took Five by the hand. “We need someone we can trust.”  
Five thought for a moment before settling on, “Vanya.” They walked out of the diner, hand in hand, leaving death and destruction in their wake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments always appreciated!


	3. The Apocalypse Waits for No Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five and Delores head to Meritech and terrorize Lance - for our entertainment.

Their first attempt at Meritech was a bust. Looking like a couple of teenagers made it exceedingly difficult to make anyone take them seriously. After a conversation that threatened to either give Five an aneurism or Klaus an early death, Delores found herself part of a trio heading into an office at Meritech prosthetics. She sat on a chair next to Klaus while Five hovered behind them.

“As I told your kids earlier, I can’t give that kind of information without consent.” The doctor kept stealing glances at Five, their earlier run in causing him to be a bit on edge. “What about my consent?” Klaus suddenly started giving the performance of a lifetime and Delores couldn’t help but think that he must really need that 20 bucks.   
“What?” The doctor and Five said in unison.   
“Who gave you permission to lay your hands on my son?”  
Five and the doctor looked confused as Delores caught on, worrying about what Five would do to Klaus if he so much as thought about touching him.   
“I never touched your son.”  
“Then how did he get that swollen lip then?”

Delores knew what was coming and realized two things immediately; One, if Klaus hit Five, he would kill him. Two, she had no idea how much power the junkie packed in a punch…would he even break skin? As the doctor wondered what the hell Klaus was talking about, Delores hopped up and stepped between Five and his brother. She whispered a quick, ‘sorry babe,’ took aim, and fired off a right hook straight into her husband’s face.

She nearly started laughing at the shocked look he gave her. As he gingerly stuck his tongue out to prod at the newly split lip, he could hear Klaus calmly explaining how the doctor was going to do ‘just fine’ in prison. Next thing they knew, they were all headed down to the file room to look up the eye’s serial number.

~~~~~~

“Useless!” Five paced back and forth in his room as Delores simply watched. She knew better than to interrupt him until his rants started to die down. “The whole family is utterly useless. A giant that’s afraid to disappoint his dead father, a mama’s boy with severe Luther envy, someone with the most exceptional power of all of us who,” he held his hands up and made quote signs with his fingers, “doesn’t do that anymore, and Klaus, the junkie sideshow.”  
“Now sweetheart,” Delores tried to keep a calm tone, “you know what happened at Meritech was no one’s fault.”  
Five’s head snapped in her direction and seeing her stern look his own features softened a bit. “I know. It’s just…I know that guy is hiding something.”  
“Ok, so we stake him out tonight.” She smiled at him. “That’s when bad guys do all their nefarious stuff.”

Five nodded and looked at his watch. “Well, we have a few hours before the place closes…” He looked up at her expectantly and she just shook her head. “Delores. It won’t take long. We can run over there.”  
“And say what? Hi, I’m the daughter that you probably think either ran away or was kidnapped 15 years ago. Yeah, I know I don’t look like I aged but hey, that’s what happens when your husband misplaces a decimal!”  
Five’s brow creased in annoyance. “How long am I going to pay for that?”  
“Until I’m 58 years old again.” A grin played on her lips and she winked. Five relaxed and she compromised. “I’ll go to them when I know everyone is safe.”

Delores was nearly at the bottom of the fire escape when she heard a rustling in the dumpster below her. She hopped off the end and looked up to see Five also peering into the dumpster finally saying, “I’d ask what you’re doing Klaus but then I remembered…I don’t care.”  
Klaus popped his head out from the trash and looked over at the pair of them. “You two crazy kids sneaking out? Need some company?”  
“I’m done funding your drug habit.”  
“Hey, maybe I want to hang out with my brother and his Nubian princess.”  
Delores scrunched up her face. “I’m from the Bronx.”  
“What?”  
“Nubian refers to Nubia, it’s people, and their language. Basically, modern day Egypt. Moron.”

Klaus’ eye widened as he watched the teens turn and walk down the alley. “Did I get the princess part right?”  
He was simply answered by a middle finger shoved straight up in the air, aimed back at him.  
Delores caught Five watching her as she lowered her hand. “What?”  
“I love you.” He smiled softly before his grin turned into a wicked smirk. “My Nubian princess.”  
“I will murder you.” She threatened as she climbed under the dashboard of a plumbing van. Five went to the other side and climbed in as the van roared to life and the two set out toward Meritech.

“What if the eye is a dead end?” Delores spoke between bites of one of the sandwiches they had brought for the stakeout. “What then?”  
“Before or after I lose my shit for following a 45-year-old lead only to hit a dead end?”  
“Um…after.”  
“Well, we could always try to find whatever local commission agents are trying to stop us and intercept their messages from headquarters.”  
Delores looked at him for a moment. “So, we got nothing.”  
Five sighed. “We got nothing.”

Finally, around 5 o’clock, Lance exited the building, said goodbye to a few of his co-workers and got into his car. Delores put the van in gear, and they followed him around town as he filled his car up with gas, went to the gym, and picked up his dog from daycare. Five let out a frustrated groan as he slammed his head back into the seat behind him. “This is boring, let’s just go threaten him.”   
Delores looked over and saw his eyes pleading for some action. “Fine.” 

She pulled the van up behind Lance’s car as he exited the dog day care and got back into his car. Five jumped in beside him and pressed a knife to his neck and Delores opened the back door and got in next to Lance’s little froo froo dog. “Holy shit!” Delores exclaimed from the back seat.  
“What?” Five didn’t take his eyes off Lance, but there was a hint of worry in his voice. “Are you hurt?”  
“No but look at this little guy.” She held up the dog so Five could see him without turning and it brought a tiny hint of a smile to the boy’s face. “He’s so precious. We should get one.”  
Lance finally spoke in a shaky voice. “P-p-please don’t hurt Muffin.”  
Five scowled. “We’re not monsters, Lance. We’re not going to hurt your dog.” Lance sighed a bit but tensed again as Five pushed the knife even closer, nearly breaking the skin. “But I will not hesitate to make Muffin here an orphan if you don’t start telling us what the hell is going on.”

Five had never heard someone spill the beans faster. He told them all about manufacturing prosthetics and selling them illegally, and even offered to take them back to the lab to get the list of potential buyers.

As Lance pulled his car up to the curb in front of the Meritech building, there was a loud bang as the building went up in a massive ball of fire. “NO!” Five screamed as he teleported out of the car before it had even come to a stop. Delores flung herself out of the back seat and barely registered the sound of Lance’s car peeling away as she ran to catch up with her husband. She grabbed his arm to stop him right before he ran into the burning building. “FIVE!”  
“We have to get that name!” He tried to pull away, but she yanked him around to meet her and put her hands on either side of his face and looked him straight in the eyes. “It’s too late. Look at the place.”   
Five glanced over to the building which was now engulfed in black smoke and he knew the only reason he wasn’t burning up right now was the girl touching him keeping the high temperatures at bay. “It was our only chance.” He whispered, his eyes suddenly becoming more wet then he would care to admit.  
“I know.” She looked at the building and then back at him. “Come on, we need to get out of here before the police come.”  
Five nodded and took one of her hands in his. “Yeah, I need a drink,” and the two began the long walk back to the academy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always welcome!


	4. The End of the World is Nigh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The family gets caught up to speed and get a visit from Hazel and Cha-Cha.

“I don’t know where the hell to even look.” Diego came storming into the sitting room, followed by Klaus. Luther and Allison had just got back from their trek around the city and were waiting for them. “Where the hell do you go if you’re a couple of old weirdos suddenly trapped in your teen bodies?”  
“Bingo?” Three sets of eyes fell on Klaus. “What? Isn’t that what old people do? Play Bingo?”  
Luther opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by the sound of the front door opening and closing. This was followed by the sounds of whispering, shushing, and… “Is that Five?” Allison asked, “giggling?”

The four of them slowly walked to the door and peered into the main foyer. There were the teens they had been looking for all night. Drunk off their asses and making out against a pillar. “Where the hell have you been?” Allison’s stern ‘Mom’ voice echoed through the entryway, causing Five to turn around suddenly, nearly knocking Delores over as he did. Her only reaction was to snort out a laugh and take another swig off the nearly empty bottle she held in her hand.

“What do you care?” Five bristled as he addressed his sister.  
“We’ve been looking all over for you two.”  
“We’ve been celebrating.”  
“Yeah, I can see that. Celebrating what?”  
“The end of the world.” Delores giggled behind him and the remaining siblings shot each other worried glances. 

It was at this point, Luther decided to take over the interrogation. “All right, Five. You need to cut the crap and tell us what the hell is going on. And I mean everything!”  
“Fine.” Five snapped. “You want everything…you got it!”  
“Oh shit.” Delores’ eyes widened and she simply shook her head as she handed him the bottle. He took a gulp and handed it back. “Story time!”

The group filed into the sitting room and took seats on various pieces of furniture as Five began to speak, the severity of his story seemingly sobered him up a bit. “When I stormed out of the house that day when I was 15, I time traveled. I went to the future and got stuck. On the way I sort of picked up an accidental stowaway,” he motioned to Delores who was rummaging behind the bar, she gave a quick wave and went back to searching. “We got stuck in the world after the apocalypse. There was nothing. We were literally the last two people on earth.” Klaus shot a hand up. “Save questions until the end.” The hand slowly went down.

“We lived there for 40 some years before we were approached by a woman.”   
“Creepy bitch.”  
Five looked over at the bar. “Jealousy is ugly on you dear.” He turned back to his siblings and continued. “She said that she worked for an organization called the Temps Commission. They monitor time and make sure that whatever is supposed to happen, happens. Apparently, our survival skills had made us pretty popular back at HQ.”  
“Yeah, bunch of weirdos watching us do everything.” Delores finished off the rest of the bottle. “And I mean, everything…”  
“Pervs,” offered Klaus.   
“Right?”

“Can I continue?” Delores smiled a sweet smile and blew him a kiss. “Good. They recruited us, trained us, and” he hesitated. “Altered us, and before long we became one of the best pairs of agents they had.”  
“What do you mean, altered you?” Diego asked.  
Five looked at Delores and she grimly nodded permission. “They put us through some extensive scientific experimentation, splicing our DNA with that of serial killers and mass murderers. They turned us into the perfect killing machines. Five and Mercury, 100% success rate.”  
Luther looked confused. “Who’s Mercury?”

“Ugh.” Delores was coming out from behind the bar, this time with two glasses of water. “What a stupid code name. They don’t even make thermometers out of mercury anymore.”  
“She’s Mercury.” Five said with a smirk as he took the offered water. “She can control temperatures with touch. Thermostat would make more sense, but I guess that doesn’t sound as cool.”  
“Wait, you have powers?”  
“Seriously, did I not say questions for the end?”  
“Sorry.” Klaus and Luther mumbled in unison.

“We took the job so we could get out of the hellscape that was our lives. We were just biding our time until I could figure out the right equations to get us back here to stop the apocalypse from happening.”  
“Bang up job of that, babe.”  
“Maybe I should constantly bring up your last mistake.”  
“My last mistake put us an hour behind on a job…it didn’t turn us into 15-year olds.”  
“Right.” He looked back at his siblings. “I made one tiny mathematical error and now we have to go through puberty…again.”

“Oh shit.” Delores stared into her glass of water. “I’m going to get my period this time.”  
“This time?” Allison asked  
“Well, yeah. Living in a post-apocalyptic world with very little food and clean water kind of makes you grow up a bit…stunted. I never got it the first time.” She walked over and linked her arm in Five’s. “We are going to need condoms this go round.”  
Luther, Allison, and Diego all broke into choruses of ‘oh come on’, ‘that’s too much information’, and ‘seriously?’   
Klaus simply looked at Delores and said. “I’ll buy you two crazy kids condoms.” She smiled, he winked, and Five rolled his eyes.   
“Can we get back to talking about what’s important here?”  
“Hey, old man…there is nothing more important than safety.”

“So, when I finally had the right equations…” Delores raised an eyebrow at him, and he corrected. “nearly, the right equations…” she nodded. “We broke our contract and came back here to try and stop it.”  
“How can we help?” Luther asked.  
Five’s face fell. “You can’t. Our only lead was a dead end.” He looked down at Delores and sighed. “We’ve got nothing.”   
The pair turned around and began walking out the door and Luther called out after them, “Wait! That’s it?”  
“Yeah.” Five kept walking. “Say your goodbyes. You’ve got five days.” They turned the corner and the remaining siblings sat in stunned silence.

“That was a bit harsh, don’t you think?” Delores slipped out of her shoes and fell unceremoniously onto the bed, curling up on her side, facing the window.  
“They’re all adults.” He thought for a moment. “Well, physically, anyway. I figured why lie?”  
“Hmm.”  
Five walked over and slid in behind her, curling his arm around her torso. “I’m sorry.”  
“For what?”  
“Everything. Kidnapping you and taking you with me to the apocalypse is a good place to start.”  
“Well, had I been watching where I was going, I wouldn’t have been kidnapped, remember?”  
When he stayed silent, she turned in his arms so she was facing him. She brought a hand up to put it on the side of his face and as he leaned into it, she whispered, “not just because.”  
He gave her a soft smile. “Not just because.”

There was a soft tapping on the door frame and Delores looked over Five’s shoulder to see Allison standing there. “I’m sorry to interrupt but…do you want me to close the door?”  
Five mumbled “Yes.” But Delores was already getting up.   
She ignored the grumbling of the boy sitting up beside her, “Did you need something?”  
“Just, um…clarification.” When the two simply looked at her she continued. “Five days? You’re absolutely sure?”  
“Absolutely.” Delores was trying to stay even, knowing that she and Five have had decades to get used to the idea, and these people have had minutes. “I’m sorry we couldn’t do more.”

Allison was about to say something when there was a loud crash coming from downstairs. As the three ran down the hall toward the main staircase, they heard a familiar sound. “That’s gunfire.” Five disappeared in a flash of blue as Delores and Allison sprinted ahead. When they reached the main foyer, they saw Luther struggling against the hold of a man who nearly matched him in size as Five suddenly appeared on the intruder’s back, putting him in a choke hold. 

Delores rushed past them and flew into the kitchen, followed by Allison. There they found Diego engaged in a fist fight with a much smaller assailant. Delores stepped in and shot a well-placed kick to the back of the woman’s knee, causing her to falter. Diego took the opportunity to get in a punch to her jaw, throwing her backwards and into Delores’ waiting arms. Allison could do nothing but stand there as she watched the young girl clamp her hands down on the intruder’s arms and squeeze hard. 

Luther and Five joined her at the door. “He bolted.” Luther said before becoming distracted by the sight in front of him. Delores was still holding the woman’s arms, and she had started shaking. He looked down at Five and found his brother smiling broadly. The woman tried hard to struggle out of her grasp, but soon she gave up and allowed Delores to follow her to the floor as she screamed out in pain. Suddenly, the sleeves on the woman’s coat caught fire. 

Delores allowed her to drop the rest of the way and Five leaned over to Luther, “Just look at her, isn’t she amazing?” Luther sent back an incredulous look as Five stayed mesmerized. “We are definitely going to need to get condoms.” Delores looked over at him and winked, and it was just the opening the attackers needed. The big man was back, and he opened fire on the room, causing Luther to grab Allison and duck behind a pillar, and Five to grab Delores by the arm and jump out of the room while Diego dove behind a couch. When the bullets stopped raining and they all got their bearings, the two were gone.

“Who the hell was that?” Diego growled as he got himself to his feet.   
Five ran his hands through his hair as Delores walked over and started to check him over. “Hazel and Cha-Cha.”  
“Who?”  
Luther piped in, “You know I hate code names.”  
“Hazel and Cha-Cha. They’re the best of the best.”  
“Except for us,” Delores said.  
“Of course.” He leaned forward and gave her a peck on the lips.

They spent a few minutes assessing the damage in the house before deciding to retire to their rooms for the night. The three older siblings watched as Five and Delores walked hand in hand toward his room. Luther muttered under his breath, “I still don’t think it’s right that they’re sharing a room.”  
“Lighten up, big man.” Diego slapped him on the shoulder and sauntered off to his room. “Until they get the condoms they keep talking about they won’t be doing anything that may upset your delicate sensibilities.”

Five closed the door behind him and suddenly recognized how tired he really was. When he saw his wife yawn, he realized that he wasn’t the only one who was beat. She crawled onto the bed, only stopping to slip off her shoes and coat and curled up facing the wall. Five also got rid of the extra clothes and slid in behind her, throwing his arm around her and burying his face into the back of her hair. “Five days,” he whispered.  
“Yeah.” She turned around in his arms to face him. “What do you want to do with it?”  
“Just spend it with you.”  
“45 years and you’re not sick of me yet?”  
“I could never get sick of you.” He smirked. “My Nubian princess.”  
“He really said that…”  
“It’s Klaus. That is not nearly the weirdest thing he has ever said.” 

Delores smiled and kissed him. It was a soft kiss that Five immediately deepened. He pulled her close and when they finally parted, he saw the worried look on her face. He went back to whispering, “Get some sleep. We will think of something tomorrow.”  
“Ok.”  
He watched as her eyes closed while her breathing steadied and soon sleep found him as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always welcome!


	5. Five's Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five makes his deal with The Handler.

Five woke to the sound of crashing coming from Klaus’ room down the hall. He sat up and realizing he was alone, decided to go investigate. He walked down the hall and was met with Delores as she came around the corner with two cups of coffee. “I knew I married you for a reason,” he said as she offered one of the drinks to him.  
“And here I thought it was my winning personality.”  
“Nope,” he chuckled as they approached the half open door, “Coffee first, then conversation, in that order.” He ducked out of the way of a halfhearted slap to the arm and pulled the door open further.

“You ok?”  
Klaus looked up as he grabbed a shirt off the floor and began to put it on. “Oh yeah, long night.”  
“Don’t remember the dog tags.”   
“Yeah, they uh…” he gingerly patted the tags with his hand. “…belonged to a friend.”  
“What about that tattoo?” Delores asked between sips of coffee.  
“Oh this? I don’t even remember getting it.”  
A wry smile spread over Five’s face and Delores’ jaw dropped in shock. “You did it didn’t you?”  
“No idea what you are talking about.”  
Delores put down her cup on the dresser and stepped next to Five. “We recognize the symptoms, Klaus.”  
Five continued, “The full body itch, the jetlag, the headache.”

Klaus sighed. “Yeah well, when you guys pissed off those nutjobs last night, they took me hostage. Figured I could give them information…spoiler alert…I could not.”  
“And you stole their briefcase.” Five was getting absolutely giddy as Delores walked around him and sat by Klaus on the bed, putting her hand on his shoulder, trying to convey that she, too, knew what it was like to time travel against one’s will. “You went where? Or should I say when?”  
“What does that matter?”  
“I guess it doesn’t.” Delores shot five a glare as if to say, ‘get to the point.’ “Where is it?” Five looked around the room.  
“It’s gone. I destroyed it…poof!”

Delores cringed as Five called his brother a moron, stating that he could have used it to go back and try again. Klaus suddenly got up, squeezing Delores’ hand before leaving the room, calling back behind him, “interrogation is over.”

“Damn it.”  
“Settle down.” Delores warned. “He’s been through hell.”  
Five’s face abruptly lit up; Delores could almost see the cartoon light bulb turning on above his head. He grabbed a pen and paper and started writing a note. “What’s that?”  
“This.” He handed her the note. “Is plan B.”  
She read the slip and looked up at him. “You think they’ll fall for it?”  
“I think they’ll be desperate enough to get that case back that they’ll have to at least meet us.”  
“Then what?”  
“Then I make them call her.”

Delores scowled at the thought. “We can’t trust her.”  
“I know that, but she also can’t trust us.” He stepped closer and put his hands on her arms, rubbing up and down soothingly. “Sweetheart. It’s our only play.”  
“Ok, but we go together. I do NOT trust her with you alone.”  
Five smirked. “You really are jealous of a woman that I have no inclination nor would have any intention of being with…even if you didn’t exist.”  
“I’m not jealous.” Her face lightened a bit as he pulled her to him, kissing her gently. “Not just because, ok?”  
She nodded. “Not just because.”

~~~~~~

Delores sat in the back seat of the Rolls Royce half listening to Luther and Five talking in the front. They were on a stretch of deserted road where Five had told Hazel and Cha Cha to come for the meeting. She tuned back in as Five was telling his brother something about being a young man, and not wasting his life. Delores caught a glimpse of Luther’s face in the mirror and couldn’t help but snicker.

Luther turned to ask her what was so funny, but was interrupted when Five said, “here we go.” In the distance, a rented hatch back pulled up near a phone booth at the side of the road. The trio got out of their car and Five turned to Luther and Delores. “If this goes sideways,” he looked at Luther, “It’s been nice getting to know you again.” Reaching out to run the back of his finger down Delores’ cheek he whispered, “I love you.” He didn’t wait for a response, turning sharply and walking toward the assassins.

Five sauntered up to them and Cha Cha impatiently started. “Ok kid, give us the case.”  
“That’s no way to start. We can get in our car and drive away if you are going to have that attitude.”  
“Or I could shoot you right now.” She pulled a gun out and pointed it at him.  
“You could.” He inclined his head back to his wife and brother. “But as you found out earlier, my brother is not your average giant.” Hazel unconsciously rubbed a bruise on his chest. “And that gorgeous thing next to him is my wife. You think she burned you before…imagine what would happen if you killed her husband?”   
Cha Cha pulled the gun out of his face and used it to gently itch one of her bandaged arms. “Ok, how do we help each other?”  
“I want to talk to the handler.”  
“Why?”  
“I don’t see how that’s your business.”  
Cha Cha and Hazel exchanged worried looks. “You won’t tell her about the briefcase?”  
“I have no reason to.”  
“Fine.” She walked over to the phone booth and dialed.

“Now we wait.” Five said as he reached Luther and Delores. She took his hand in hers and they leaned against the front of the car, Luther standing nearby. They sat for a while, waiting, when the silence was interrupted by the sound of an engine roaring down the road behind them. The pair stood next to Luther and watched as an ice cream truck driven by Klaus sped by. As he passed, he waved, a giant shit eating grin on his face.

All at once…chaos. Hazel and Cha Cha opened fire before diving for cover as the ice cream truck barreled into their car. Luther stepped in front of Five and Delores and abruptly…the world stopped.

Five peeked out from behind Luther and saw her standing there. Briefcase in hand, she looked just as smug as he remembered. He stepped out and walked over to her, ready to negotiate. What he hadn’t expected, was a job offer. He took a moment to run a few scenarios in his head before deciding that this may be his only chance of stopping this thing. She held out her hand, but before he took it he had a few things to fix. “Hang on a second.”

She impatiently checked her watch as Five walked to where Hazel and Cha Cha’s guns were on the ground, accidently dropped as they dove for safety. He took the magazines out and chucked them in the opposite direction as the guns. He walked back to where the Handler was standing and right past her. He reached into the air and plucked the bullet that was headed straight for Luther out of the air and moved it to where it would miss him. He then took the pen and paper from out of his pocket and jotted down a quick note. He shoved the note in Delores’ pocket and headed back to the woman’s outstretched hand. He took it. The world began once again. 

~~~~~~

“Where the hell is Five!?” Delores shouted as Klaus and Diego ran for the car. She didn’t have time to figure it out as Luther was physically picking her up to put her in the back of the car where she was joined quickly by Klaus. Diego jumped into the passenger side next to Luther and they peeled out, leaving the two assassins behind in the roadway.

Luther asks to no one in particular, “Seriously, what the hell happened back there?”  
“Wasn’t Five with you?” Klaus asked Delores as she slowly pulled a folded-up piece of paper out of the pocket of her blazer. She slowly opened it and read it silently as Klaus peered over her shoulder and read it aloud to the car. “Not just because, 5…’ What the heck does that mean?”  
She smiled. “It means he’s alright.” She folded the paper up and put it back in the pocket. “And he’s got a plan.”

~~~~~~

Five sat at his desk, desperately trying to tune out the sound of the woman behind him blabbering on about lunch. He had attempted to quiet her by throwing himself into his work, but her mouth seemed to not be able to stop. Soon the weirdo whom the Handler admonished earlier got in on it and asked his own questions. He knew it was only a matter of time before one of them crossed the line. 

It was Dot. 

He was shoving the typed note into the canister from his drawer when he heard her ask, “What ever happened to that lovely gal who was always with you? What was her name?”  
He took in a sharp breath as Herb responded, “Doris?”  
Five was seething. Dot cheerfully exclaimed, “Delores!”  
Five stood up and turned to them sharply. “If either of you so much as mentions her name again…” He was slightly pleased at the terrified looks he received, even in his younger looking body. “I will pick Herb up and use him to beat you to death.” With that, he walked out of the room and headed to the tube room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always welcome!


	6. The Day That Was

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group looks for Harold Jenkins and Allison bonds with her new sister-in-law.

Allison, Klaus, and Diego were gathered around the bar trying to take in what Luther and Delores were telling them. “What can we do?” Allison said, crossing her arms in front of her. “We can fight it right?”  
“You did fight it.” All eyes turned to Delores as she leaned on the pillar, sipping the coffee that Allison brought. “The first time, you all fought together.”  
“What happened?”  
Delores looked at Luther as if to say, ‘it will be better coming from you.’ Luther put his own coffee cup to his lips and just before taking a sip he muttered out an incredibly soft, “uh…we died.”  
“What?” Diego and Allison were bombarding the two with questions about how and why and finally Allison asked the million-dollar question. “What makes this time different?”

Before anyone could answer, a flash of blue burst above the bar and down fell Five, still clutching a briefcase. There were a few shocked yells, one very colorful swear word courtesy of Deigo, and they all stepped back as he unceremoniously rolled off the bar. He trudged over to Delores, grabbed her by the back of the head, pulled her into what could only be described as a deeply passionate kiss, grabbed her coffee as he pulled away, and took a huge swallow. “So, the apocalypse is in three days.”

“Are you okay?” Delores stepped up to him and started checking for damages. He quickly brushed her hand away before answering. “I’m more than ok…” he pulled a slip of paper out of his blazer pocket. “I have a lead.”  
Allison stepped up to take the slip and read it. “Who’s Harold Jenkins?”  
Five finished the last of the coffee and chucked the cup behind him. “I don’t know. I do know that the commission wants him protected at all costs, so he is the guy we have to find if we want a chance in stopping this thing.”

“Do you have any idea how insane this sounds?” Diego blurted out.  
Five answered back with a snarl, “You know what’s insane? My wife of over 30 years and I look like 15-year-old kids! Klaus talks to the dead and Luther thinks he’s fooling everyone in that overcoat. Everything about our family is insane. But instead of hiding behind it…I say we use it.”

“You had me at Gerald Jenkins.” Diego took the knife he was twirling and put it back into its holster.   
Five rolled his eyes. “Harold Jenkins.”  
“Whatever.” He walked past the group and stood, waiting at the door for who was going to follow.  
“Ok I’m in.” Allison followed Diego as Five and Delores added themselves to the party. 

“I’m going to stay here and try to find the research I sent to Dad. I’m sure this has something to do with the moon.”  
Delores shot Five a look of disbelief to which he just shrugged. Klaus was decidedly not in, so the foursome headed out the door in the search for Harold Jenkins. As they exited the mansion, Delores took Five’s hand and whispered, “What’s with your brother’s hard on for the moon?” Gaining a snort from Five and a full-on belly laugh from Diego.

~~~~~~

“Everyone be careful, we don’t know what this guy is capable of.” Allison warned as the group traversed the walkway up to Harold Jenkin’s house.   
Diego scoffed. “He didn’t seem that dangerous when I first saw him…looked kind of scrawny.”  
“Yeah, well so are most mass murderers and serial killers.” Allison gestured to Five and Delores. “Look at them.”  
“Thank you.” Five deadpanned.  
Delores smiled. “That’s so sweet!”

Diego let out a frustrated grunt as he turned to find only Delores standing next to him as Allison and Five had disappeared. “Stand back.” He braced himself for impact and bolted toward the door, throwing himself through the window. He looked up from the floor to see Allison and Five standing over him and Delores walking through the front door. “The door was unlocked you know.” 

They split up and searched the house until Allison called them all up to the attic to look at the anti-shrine Harold had of the Umbrella Academy. Delores walked close to inspect the action figures with the melted faces. She turned to say something to Five just in time to see him sway in place before collapsing to the floor. 

“Five!” She ran over to him and knelt on the other side of her husband as Allison. His sister pulled the bottom of his shirt up to reveal blood gushing out of an open wound. “Why didn’t you say anything?”  
“We…have to…keep…going.” Five spat out through ragged breaths.  
“Get him to the car,” Allison ordered, and Diego scooped Five up, much to the smaller man’s chagrin and followed the women out to the car. 

Delores climbed into the back seat and Diego positioned Five with his head in her lap. She tried to apply pressure to the wound as best as she could while Diego sped home. “Five, sweetheart.” She whispered to him. “You have to stay awake.” She held Allison’s scarf against the wound with one hand while running her fingers through his hair with the other. “I need to you stay awake…I can’t lose you.”  
Five opened his eyes and muttered, “Not just because.” Before passing out.

Nearly two hours, 10 stiches, and one shot of morphine later, and Five was sleeping like a baby in his bed. Grace and Delores were checking and rechecking bandages while Allison and Diego stood in the doorway. Finally, Diego broke the awkward silence. “Five was right. We do need to keep going.” Delores looked up at him and nodded. “Allison and I will go out to the cabin in this guy’s file. You should stay here with him.”

Delores stood up and grabbed her uniform jacket off the chair. As she swung it around her back to put it on, she stated very calmly. “If Five wakes up and finds out that I sat around crying like a little girl over a hurt man instead of following the only lead we have…he will divorce me.” She strolled up to them and motioned for them to lead the way. As she reached the door, she turned back to Grace. “When he wakes up, can you tell him I said, ‘not just because’? He’ll know what it means.” Grace nodded and the trio were off.

Just down the block of the mansion, the three decided to split up. “I’m going to go stake out the house,” Diego decided. “Just in case they come back.”  
“Ok, we’ll head out to the cabin and check it.” Allison and Delores got into the family car. “I’m sure it’s a dead end and we’ll be headed back to watch the house with you in no time.” Diego got into his car and the three parted ways.

~~~~~~

The ride out of the city was mostly quiet. Delores simply watched out the window as the buildings got smaller and the people became sparser. Soon, Allison made a turn down a county highway and they seemed to be the only people road. “Hey.” Allison finally interrupted her thoughts. “Can I ask you a question?”  
“I am an open book.”   
“The ‘not just because’ thing…what is that?”  
Delores smiled at the memory. “Hmm. I guess I could tell you, but you may not want to hear the whole story.”  
“Allison checked the GPS. “We’ve got nothing but time.”  
“Not what I meant.” Delores smirked and Allison saw a bit of Five’s influence in it. “There’s a part of the story that’s a bit, shall we say, not safe for work? And as it involved your brother…”  
“Oh.” Allison thought for a moment. “Can you summarize that part? No details.”  
“Deal.”

“We were 13 when I accidently hitched a ride with your brother to the post-apocalyptic wasteland. We got along right away, thankfully. When we both got over the fact that Five wasn’t going to get us home anytime soon, we got to work trying to survive. We found whatever food we could, and ways to collect water to boil for drinking, that kind of stuff.” Allison nodded as she continued. “About 5-6 years in, we had our first fight.”  
“Damn. You made it five years without a fight? That’s impressive.”  
“Well, before that, we disagreed about stuff, but nothing of this magnitude.” Delores stopped for a minute, thinking back to that day. She flinched but went on. 

“It was a stupid fight. One of those that starts out as a simple argument but then escalates as each of you bring up every single little thing the other has ever done.”  
“Oh yeah, I’ve been in one of those.”  
“Anyway. He said something about how the only reason he even tolerated me was that we were the last people on the planet. Then I said that meeting him was the worst thing that has ever happened to me.”  
“Ouch.”  
“Yeah. Unfortunately, he was just as mad as me and he said, ‘fine! I guess me leaving will be the best then.’ And he disappeared.”

“Oh man.” Allison sighed. “I used to hate that when we were kids. He would teleport out instead of staying and arguing…infuriating.”  
“Yeah, but the problem was, he didn’t come back that night.” Delores’ voice got a bit shaky, but she pressed on. “I waited up in our tent, but he didn’t come back. The longer he was gone, the more terrified I got. At first, I thought I was scared because my only available ride home was gone, and I may be stuck there forever. After a few hours of crying and thinking, I realized that I was not scared for me. I was scared for him.”  
“Damn.”  
“Yeah.” Delores smiled a tiny, sweet smile. “It was that night I realized that I loved him.”

“Real early the next day, before sunrise even, he finally came back. His head was down, and he looked awful. His eyes were red, he was filthy…probably from trying to sleep on the ground. When I saw him, I forgot everything that was said the night before. I ran up to him and pulled him into my arms. When he pulled back, confused as all hell, he was going to ask what the hell was going on when I kissed him.”  
“Aw.”  
“You should have seen the look on his face. I have never seen someone so utterly shocked in my life.” Delores chuckled a bit at the memory before her face got more serious, but still happy. “We didn’t speak a word to each other. We didn’t have to. We went back into the tent and made love for the first time.” Allison was so wrapped up in the story that she forgot to be grossed out at the knowledge of how her brother lost his virginity.

“Afterward, we were just lying there in each other’s arms and he whispered to me. “I love you, Delores. And not just because we are the last two people on Earth.” She wistfully stared out the window as she finished her story “We made sure to tell each other that often, and over the years it just got shortened to ‘not just because.” Allison simply tried not to cry so she could keep driving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always welcome!


	7. The cabin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Delores and Allison head to Jenkins' cabin and find Vanya. The boys rush out to meet them, not knowing what is in store.

Klaus was trying, and struggling, to knit…something. He remembered in one of his rehab stints that someone suggested to take up a hobby that occupied your hands. This was turning out to be NOT the hobby for him. He was actually relieved when Five burst into his room, back in full Academy uniform. “Get up, we’re going.”  
“Where?”  
“Save the world.”  
“Oh is that all?” Five ignored his sass and watched as he sat up and put his boots on. “You know your little chocolate slice of heaven went off with Allison and Diego already.”  
“Good.” Klaus crooked and eyebrow at him. “At least someone with a brain is on the case.” They started down the hall and Five turned to him. “By the way, I’ve been meaning to ask. Why are you so obsessed with Delores being black?”  
“I’m not. I just like to see you get your haunches up…it’s adorable.”  
“Remind me to kill you after I save your life.”  
“Cool.”

They rounded the corner and were met with Diego, rushing into his room and pulling out his knife set. “Where the hell were you?”  
“Not important. I did get some info about Harold Jenkins though and it’s not good.”  
“You want to elaborate on that?” Five was growing impatient with his family by the minute.  
“Allison and Delores are in trouble.”

The three of them scoop up Luther on the way out of the house and when they reach the car, Five gets in the driver’s seat. Luther didn’t argue as his hangover from the night before was staggering. Klaus claims he doesn’t drive, and Diego wanted to go over the police files he got from a friend on the force.

They drove in near silence after Diego filled them all in on Harold/Leonard and how Allison and Delores have no idea what the hell this psycho was capable of. Luther then leans forward and speaks into Five’s ear. “Can you drive faster?”  
“Ask me again, and I’ll burn you with the cigarette lighter.”  
“Luther sat back in a huff, mumbling under his breath, “I would think you’d be more concerned about your wife.”  
Five bristled, “My wife can handle herself against some clown like Jenkins. I would concern myself with sobering up so when we get there, you won’t be useless to the rest of us.”

~~~~~~

Allison pulled up to the cabin and the first thing they both noticed was that the wind was kicking up as if only around the house. The two got out of the car and walked up the path to the front door. Allison was about to knock when she noticed that the door was open a crack. She shot Delores a look and after getting an agreement nod, she slowly pushed the door open.

They were met with the vision of Vanya playing the violin. Allison couldn’t help but think that for the first time, Vanya looked confident. Delores whispered to her, “You talk to her, I’m gonna look around for Jenkins.”  
“Ok, be careful.”  
Delores looked at Vanya, lost in the music and looked around at the environment, “you do the same.”

Delores left the two sisters in the living room and walked around the back of the house. She reached the back and entered the kitchen. Looking around, she realized that Jenkins was not there. She also noticed that the wind was kicking up much more than when they first arrived. From the living room, she suddenly heard Vanya scream out something.

She heard Vanya yelling at Allison. Something about ‘you knew!’ Delores didn’t quite know what Allison supposedly ‘knew’ but from the way the two were acting, she didn’t want to waste time finding out. She silently grasped the fire poker out of its holder and crept up to the door to the living room as quietly as she could manage. 

She entered the room and before she could take stock of the situation, she felt a shockwave hitting her chest with such force that it knocked the wind out of her. She flew backwards and out a window onto the driveway. Her head contacted the ground and she soon lost the struggle against unconsciousness.

~~~~~~

As the Rolls pulled into the front of the cabin, Diego looked out the windshield. “What is that?”  
Five squinted at the shape on the ground as he slowed the car to a stop. “Shit!” He threw it in park and blinked out to crouch down to inspect the figure. The others piled out of the car just in time to see him lift Delores’ head up and pull her into his arms. “Delores…sweetheart.” He gingerly started to run his fingers through her hair as she cautiously opened her eyes. “Five?”  
His eyes closed and he leaned forward to press his forehead against hers as his brothers gathered around them.

“Allison.” Delores was slowly regaining consciousness. Her head was killing her, and she thinks a few things may be broken, but she still needed to tell them.   
“Allison what?” Five asked. “What the hell happened?”  
“In the house,” she panted, “Vanya.”  
That’s all Luther needed. He took off at a sprint up the steps followed by Diego and Klaus.

“Can you walk?” Five asked as he helped her to her feet.   
“I think so. Just a few bruises, and a headache to rival time travel, but…” She made a show of bouncing a bit on her legs before noticing the worried look on his face. “I’m fine.” She put her hand on the side of his face. “Really.”  
“Ok.” He leaned into her hand for a moment before the door of the cabin burst open and Luther came barreling out carrying Allison’s lifeless body.

Soon the entire crew was flying down the road courtesy of Diego’s lead foot. Luther and Klaus in the back seat, Allison’s body strewn across them, and Five sitting in the passenger side with Delores parked on his lap. She attempted to explain what she saw before getting knocked out.

“What do you mean? You don’t know what happened?”  
“Like I said…” Delores snapped back. “I walked through the door and something flung me out a damn window”  
“Sweetie.” Five rubbed his hand up and down her back, attempting to keep the murder to a minimum. “What flung you out a window.”  
“I don’t know, but it was powerful.”

They arrived at the Academy and soon found themselves all gathered around Allison in the infirmary as Grace got to work. After Pogo dismissed the possibility of her brothers giving blood, Delores stepped up. “I’m O negative…if that helps.”  
Five came over as Grace was readying the needle and handed her an ice pack. “You are perfect, you know that?”  
“I do.” She smiled at him and sat down while Grace affixed a rubber tube around her arm and plunged the needle in.

Diego stared at Allison for a moment longer before the silence in the room finally got to him. “We need to do something. We need to go find Jenkins and Vanya.”  
“You’re right,” Five nodded. “We should go back to the house, if he’s gonna run, he may stop there first for supplies.”  
“Hey!” Five turned to Delores sitting on the chair, the bag hanging on the iv-stand next to her slowly filling up with the much-needed blood. “You better come back to me; you understand?”  
“Yes dear.” He smiles sweetly before following Diego and Klaus out the door.

The trio reach Harold Jenkins’ house to a very anti-climactic scene. The three of them stand in the living room, staring at the dead body of the man in question. His body was impaled every which way with what appeared to be every sharp object in the house, and a few dull ones.

“What the hell happened here?” Diego asked no one in particular as Klaus started slowly making his way backward.  
“I don’t know, but I’m thinking we shouldn’t be here when someone comes to check on him.”  
“You’re right, let’s go.” Diego and Klaus started toward the door when Five suddenly rushed toward the body. 

“Wait!” He dug into his pocket and pulled out the glass eye he had been carrying around for decades. Klaus made a disgusted noise as Five shoved the eye into the empty socket on Harold Jenkins’ face. “Same color, size, and it fits.” He looked back at his brothers. “This is it; this is what we’ve been chasing.”  
“Yeah, that’s great.” Diego stepped forward and gently pulled Five up by the shoulder as he took the eye back out. “We really need to go.”  
Five took one last look at the body and followed them out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always welcome!


	8. We Did It!...Or Did We?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The apocalypse is averted - or so they think.

When Grace was certain she had drunk enough juice and sat long enough that she wouldn’t pass out, Delores found herself wandering the halls of the gloomy mansion that her husband once called home. She took in the ghastly sights of animals of every shape and size mounted on the walls and found herself nearly tearing up from laughter when she walked in and found herself face to face with the giant portrait of Five.

She rounded a corner and saw Diego just as he went into his room and slammed the door behind him. “I guess they’re home.” She remarked and went to look for Five.  
She started down the stairs when she heard it. She couldn’t make out their words, but she knew that tone. Five was pissed. As she got closer she overheard Klaus telling him that he was addicted to a drug called the apocalypse, and the pair came into sight just in time for her to see her husband throw the glass eye against the wall, shattering it.

She strolled past Klaus, giving him a sympathetic look and followed Five into the parlor. He was digging around under the bar and by the looks of what he was collecting she figured he was making margaritas. She walked over and pulled the blender out from under the counter and went about helping him. 

“He’s right, you know.”  
Five looked betrayed as she poured the tequila into the mixer. “Et tu, Brute?”  
“We’ve been chasing this thing so long…” She looked around at the big room that seemed to be swallowing them. “What the hell do we do now?”  
Five sighed and dipped the rims of two margarita glasses into a tin of salt. “I have no idea.”

She finished the drinks off with a couple of umbrellas and straws and leaned forward to take her first sip when the doorbell rang. “You expecting someone?”  
Five chuckled. “No one outside of this house even knows I exist.” She made a point to slowly put the straw into her mouth and slurp loudly, indicating that she was not going anywhere. “Fine, I’ll get it.” He picked up his glass and shook his head before walking out into the front entrance to see who it was.

Opening the door, Five found himself face to face with none other than Hazel. The bigger man was standing in front of the mansion with a 9mm pistol in his hand. Five simply took a sip and deadpanned, “Did you come back to finish the job? If not, would you like a margarita?”  
Hazel looked down at his gun and flushed. “Oh, sorry.” He put the weapon in his waist band. “Force of habit.”

Five lead Hazel into the parlor and Delores tensed until she saw Five give her a subtle shake of his head. She relaxed a bit as he walked back to the bar and sat next to her, facing Hazel. “What do you want Hazel?”

Before he could answer, Diego practically flew into the room and caught Hazel off guard with a swift kick to the back of the big man’s knee, dropping him to the ground. “Diego!” Five yelled, but his brother didn’t seem to hear. He dodged as Hazel barreled toward him and landed a blow to the man’s shoulder as he passed. Hazel swung around and clocked Diego on the jaw as Delores rolled her eyes. “You may want to hear what he has to say before you kill him.” Seeing that they weren’t going to stop, she took a slurp off of her drink and snarked, “10 bucks on Diego.”

The two men kept at it while Five and Delores looked at each other in frustration. They watched for a minute until they saw Diego jump on Hazel’s back and latch his teeth on the larger man’s ear. Delores shook her head, knowing what was coming and sure enough, Five jumped over and grabbed a vase, smashing it on his brother’s head, knocking him out. “I draw the line at biting.”

As he walked back to his spot at the bar, he called back to Hazel. “I suggest you say whatever you need to say before he comes to.”  
“I came to help.”  
“Help with what?” Delores said between slurps.  
“Stop the apocalypse.”  
Five and Delores gave each other confused looks. “Why?”  
“Let’s just say I have a vested interest in a donut shop.”

They then had to explain to him that the apocalypse was effectively over, making him incredibly happy. Delores was glad he was no longer a threat but did frown when he downed the last of their margarita. Hazel then asked them what they were going to do with their lives. She looked at Five and could tell he didn’t know the answer to that either. “Maybe it’s time to start over.” Hazel posited. “You know, grow up…have a couple of weird psycho kids.” 

Hazel finished off his drink (which basically was what was left in the blender), shook their hands, and left off to parts unknown. Delores hoisted herself up to sit on the bar. “That actually sounds pretty nice.”  
“What?”  
“Growing up, having a real life, maybe even a couple of kids.”  
Five pondered this as he finished down his own drink. “How about a date?”  
A smile spread across her face at the thought of sitting in a darkened theater, his arm around her like a couple of real teens. “My schedule happens to be wide open.”  
“Good.” He offered her his arm and she hopped off the bar to link hers with it. “You’re paying…” She shot him an incredulous look. “…You owe me 10 bucks.”  
“I am NOT paying for that.” He laughed at her as she explained. “You totally cheated.” 

The two of them left arm in arm to have their first ‘real’ date. As they walked out the door, Diego came to and wondered if the last 15 minutes or so actually happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always welcome!


	9. The Apocalypse is Still On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five and Delores get back from their date to find the Academy destroyed. Welcome to Kenny's birthday!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit short, but It's really just a filler to get to the big finale.

“Aren’t they adorable?” Five rolled his eyes at the third comment from someone who was clearly living vicariously through what appeared to be a couple of teenagers. Delores didn’t seem to mind as she gently swung her hand, clasped with Five’s, back and forth as they walked home from the movie theater. 

She caught his look of disgust out of the corner of her eye and smiled. She stopped and pulled him to her, taking his face in her hands and planting a kiss on his lips, “Admit it. We are adorable.”  
Five shook his head and started walking again, this time, putting his arm around her shoulder, pulling her close. Let them look.

Turning the final corner to the mansion and they found themselves thrown into chaos. There was smoke and fire engulfing what was left standing of the house. Most of it was rubble and after a quick look at each other, they began to run toward the Academy. As they drew closer, Luther, Allison, Diego, and Klaus appeared from different places in the remains of the house.

“What the hell happened here?” Five snapped.  
Allison looked down as Luther answered. “Vanya.”  
“What do you mean, Vanya?”  
“She’s got powers…she’s the one who hurt Allison and Delores”  
Five’s brow furrowed as he looked at the cuts on Delores’ face. She waited while his brain processed the information to spit out a solution, much like a computer. Her husband…the computer.

“Shit.” Five’s eyes widened. “Vanya’s the bomb!”  
“What are you talking about?” Diego pinched the bridge of his nose, something he did a lot when Five talked.  
“Jenkins was the fuse, but Vanya is the bomb.”  
Delores chimed in. “We thought the Academy got destroyed during the apocalypse, but it must have happened before.”

The group looked around as the sounds of sirens got closer. Diego spoke up first. “We need to bolt. If we are here when the cops get here, we’re going to be held up all night.”  
“You’re right.” Five agreed. “We need to find Vanya.”  
Luther looked around. “Split up. Regroup at Superstar Lanes.” He and Allison took off in one direction as Klaus and Diego took off in another. Five took Delores by the hand and blinked them to the next block to disappear into the crowd on the street. 

~~~~~~

After the obnoxiously happy woman at the bowling alley informed them that if they weren’t going to bowl, they had to leave…The Hargreeves found themselves wearing godawful bowling shoes and half-assing a game of 10 pin. They were brainstorming ideas as to where Vanya may be and how the hell they were going to stop her when Allison gestured to Luther to help her with a phone call. 

The rest of them sat in silence until a woman walked right up to them with her arm around a talk skinny teen carrying a bowling ball and wearing a gift bow on his shirt. “Um. It’s my son Kenny’s birthday today and…” The remaining Hargreeves looked up at the interruption. “Wouldn’t your kids like to play with people their own age?” She looked at Five and Delores. “That’s if it’s ok with your two dads.”  
Delores held back a laugh as Klaus swung his head in Diego’s direction to gauge his reaction. She batted her eyes at them and sweetly asked. “Oh please Daddy, can we?”  
Five ignored her and addressed the woman directly. “I’d rather chew off my own foot.”  
The woman reeled back, and Delores turned her fake sweetness to her. “Guess not…sorry Kenny. Maybe next time.” 

The familiar sound of a commission tube dropping alerted her and Five and the two went over to the next lane to investigate as Klaus informed Diego that ‘he could do worse.”

Five grabbed the tube and pulled out a fortune cookie. “The hell?” Opening it, he found a note from someone asking to meet at a hotel. He looked at Delores and she sighed. “You know it’s a trap, right?”   
He grabbed her hand. “I need you to keep these idiots on task.”  
“You come back to me; you hear?”  
He leaned in and pressed his lips against hers. She sighed into it and placed her hand upon his cheek. Five pulled away and smiled a soft, almost sad smile. “Not just because, right?”  
“Not just because.” She agreed, right before he let go of her hand and disappeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always welcome!


	10. Final Showdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Hargreeves vs. Vanya

Delores was politely declining a mozzarella stick from Klaus’ plate when the lights of the bowling alley started to flicker. Her brain went into mission mode when she saw the tach team enter, on the hunt for her and Five. She pulled Klaus down with her behind the ball racks and saw the others take their own cover as the bullets started flying.

“Maybe they’re here for Kenny’s birthday!” Klaus shouted above the noise as Delores grabbed a glass of water off the table and froze the liquid before chucking it over the counter to hit one of the assassins in the head, knocking him off guard long enough for Luther to hit him with a well-aimed bowling ball.

She saw the barrel of a rifle peer over their hiding place and she took a deep breath and reached up to grab it. She hoped her power was faster than the man’s trigger finger. It was. The barrel was melting within seconds, causing the man to cry out as the heat reached his hands.

The next few minutes were a blur as Delores and her in-laws ran down the lanes and dove into the pins as their only means of escape. As she tucked and rolled out the back side of the aisle, she was hoisted to her feet by Diego as she thought, ‘Five is going to be pissed he missed this one.’

~~~~~~

Five cautiously approached the motel door as he ran scenarios in his head of all the ways this could go. When he was satisfied that he had enough exit strategies, he grasped the knob, turned it, and pushed his way inside the room. 

The Handler was sitting on the couch in front of an enormous spread of Chinese food. He was also met with the sight of the woman from Griddy’s, tied to a chair, precariously hovering over the boiling hot tub. “You must really like donuts.” As the woman pleaded with her eyes for him to help her, the Handler spoke. “Where is your old lady?”  
He looked away from the donut lady to his former employer. “I don’t trust you with both of us at the same time. If you kill me, she can complete the mission.”  
“The mission!” She leaned back into the gaudy couch and laughed. “The world is ending Five. No one can stop it. Not you, not your family, not that scrappy gal of yours…no one.” 

She leaned forward to pick up one of the takeout boxes. “Hungry?”  
“What do you want?”  
“To do the job my superiors require. Unfortunately,” She pouted as she addressed him. “That may include killing you. I’d hate to do that; we could make a great team.”  
“You and I,” Five countered, “Have nothing.”  
“Keep telling yourself that babe. We have a connection.”  
“I’m a married man.”  
The Handler made a show of looking at her watch, then back at him. “Not for long.”  
“You’re distracting me…” The last thing he saw was her wicked grin before he teleported out of the room and made his way to the theater.

~~~~~~

When he reached the theater, he found himself amid utter chaos. Vanya was quiet literally glowing on stage while she played the violin, creating what appeared to be a wall of energy surrounding her. He popped in the aisle, next to Luther and saw his remaining siblings along with his wife, hiding among the chairs. 

“It’s about time.” Delores shouted across the aisle.   
“I had an errand to run.”  
“Did she hit on you?”  
“Seriously?” He called back. “We going to do this now?” She narrowed her eyes, and he knew the conversation was not over. However, he needed to focus on the task at hand. He turned back to the rest of his family, “Any ideas?”

“We think the violin is working as a sort of lightening rod,” Luther posited. “If we can separate her from it, we may have a chance.”  
Allison was furiously motioning for them to not hurt Vanya, but Five had come to far and lived through too much hell to care about the life of one individual when the fate of the world was at stake, even if the one was his sister. “Alright, we rush her. One of us is bound to get through.”

Allison looked distraught and Delores took her hand in her own to try to comfort her as Luther shouted out orders on who was going where. When she heard her own name and where she was to start, she gave her sister-in-law’s hand a squeeze and tried her best apologetic look before letting go so she could join in on the attack.

As they rushed the petite woman, she threw out her bow toward the group, grabbing each of them in a beam of power so strong, it held them all up in the air. Delores tried to look over at Five as she felt the life being drained from her. She couldn’t turn her head completely, so she was looking straight at Vanya as Allison walked up behind her, put the gun next to her sister’s ear, and fired.

The entire group dropped to the ground as a beam of light shot out of Vanya and through the skylight of the theater. She crumpled into Allison’s waiting arms and the two women dropped to the ground. 

Delores got up on wobbly feet as Five reached her, pulling her into his arms. She vaguely heard him asking if she was ok as she saw Klaus out of the corner of her eye staring at the hole in the ceiling. “Uh guys…”  
Everyone looked to where he was pointing and saw the moon nearly snap in half, sending chunks of the celestial body plummeting to the Earth. 

The entire family stared in shock for a moment before Five called out that he had a plan. His family was hesitant, but after realizing that it was either sudden death or giving him a chance, Delores found herself standing in a circle, Five on one side of her, Allison on the other. The group held each other’s hands as Five started gathering the energy to send them to God knows when. Just as the fireball reached the ground and spread destruction across the planet, the Hargreeves disappeared in a flash of blue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Season two is in production - for those who are interested.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments always appreciated!


End file.
